Halloween Marathon: Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters (2013)

Whats a Halloween marathon without a flick about witches and hunters? I chose Friday when I was all alone sitting at home, not wanting to watch a horror movie and not sleep all night, so I put in Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters.  I had seen a part of this before when my boyfriend saw it a few weeks ago but I never review anything without having put my full attention in it.  I had a good idea what to expect from the little bit I had seen…

hansel and gretel posterDirector: Tommy Wirkola

Cast: Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton, Famke Janssen, Pihla Viitala, Derek Mears, Ingrid Bolso Berdal, Thomas Mann

We all know the story of Hansel and Gretel.  In this new version, young Hansel and Gretel are deserted by their parents and in the witch’s place, they overturn her evil plan and end up burning her alive to save themselves.  Ever since then, Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel’s (Gemma Arterton) life was being hired to hunt witches for a living and having each other’s back.  Years later, they’ve built themselves some rep and they get hired by the mayor of a small town where children have been going missing.  They end up saving Mina, who is assumed to be a witch, from the clutches of the Sheriff and try to figure out who is behind these evil plans and to save the children.  As the Blood Moon approaches, they start suspecting that there is a greater plan for a group of witches lead by Muriel (Famke Janssen) that they need to stop.

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I’m going to tell you right now.  I tend to like ridiculous movies like these.  Call it a guilty pleasure if you’d like.  I class these with Resident Evil: Retribution and Van Helsing.  Not all that great in any aspect but somehow the bad adds up to being a fairly decent form of entertainment.  However, this one doesn’t hit the same level of “so bad its good” as say, my absolutely fave Resident Evil.  Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters is charming because of the two main characters.  As cheesy as those lines can get, it does work to get a few laughs.  And then they also had some pretty nice weapons that they used and it made the characters look extremely cool and badass.

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Now, I was a bit surprised that this was categorized as horror, but hey, I need a break from so much dark suspenseful things.  You don’t want to know the contents of my dreams/nightmares after a few nights of extreme horror (I promise you, thats coming up).  This one is a horror comedy and even though it strives to be gory at times with the murders and whatnot, it really isn’t anything too intense, actually for the most part, when someone does die, I was laughing at the bad computer graphics.  Thinking about it now, I actually still have a smile stretching across my face.  Good times, right?

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There isn’t really much to compliment when looking at this silly fantasy/horror/adventure flick.  I can’t even seem to pinpoint what it really wants to do but at least they had some good looking characters and some of them are actually decent actors and actresses.  Honestly, I watched this for the very charming Jeremy Renner.  He can say the silliest things and do the most illogical things and I’ll still think he’s pretty cool. Gemma Arterton is pretty and plays the whole tough chick role very well.  One actress I’d like to mention is the actress Famke Janssen who plays Muriel, the evil witch.  I think she naturally has this super evil, cruel, manipulating feeling to her acting.  If this movie doesn’t convince you, well, head on over and watch her in Hemlock’s Grove.  As much as I’m on the fence about that series, she was the best of part that as well.

Overall, Hansel and Gretel is simply a brainless fantasy/action/horror flick full of silly dialogues and bad CGI but has moments where these elements combined can make for some laughs.  Maybe you are laughing at the movie itself, but if you have a hard day’s work and want to shut off your mind, this might prove to have some entertainment value.  Just remember that you really need to fully close it off  (as I did).

What did you think about Hansel and Gretel? We’ve had a lot of classic tales retold in the last few years, which is your favorite? Do you enjoy those sort of storylines?