Daily Prompt (Oct. 20): Tell us about the blog post you were most nervous to publish — and what it was like to set it free.
Its been a while that I’ve taken on one of these daily prompts especially since we’ve been in the full-on Halloween mood here.
I do like to reflect on my blog and the posts I put up here. Honestly, every post I publish makes me nervous because I firmly believe that I have really bad writing and that its probably filled with mistakes, especially the ones that I draft at lunch time in a rush to get published in the afternoon. Plus, all of YOU write in such an awesome way, some of you are witty, funny, sophisticated, etc. I can’t imagine myself being anywhere near that level.
However, in deeper reflection, there were a few that I was extremely nervous to publish and almost didn’t. It all dials down to exposing a side of myself that I criticize myself for the most.
The first that comes to mind are my creative writing pieces from daily prompts or weekly writing challenges. I’m not a storyteller or a writer by far. Even though I participate in NaNoWriMo for the past 2 years, I still don’t feel like I am. Creative writing is a way for me to simply release the thoughts I have, inspire by my dreams/nightmares, and just the make believe world that I sometimes find myself constructing to relieve stress. Some call that daydreaming, but I do it all the time. Dream is part of my name (blog and real) so I guess there’s no avoiding it. Writing reviews is different because its a personal opinion and if you disagree, well, we just agree to disagree or I try to see what you see. Thats what makes creative writing different. I think to date, I have two creative writing pieces, HERE and HERE! I worked a lot time putting these two together and still, I almost didn’t press the schedule button and even that morning, I almost wanted to cancel it….Still, no one said any harsh words, so I’m clear 🙂
Just don’t expect next month for me to post up excerpts on my NaNoWriMo novel 😉 I know lots of bloggers do it but I can’t. I’d have a heart attack from all the anxiety before that could happen….
Doesn’t it all dial down to being exposed and vulnerable? Its a contradicting when we own a blog to say that, I think. However, as much distance as I like to put my personal problems from the blog (because thats not where I’m aiming for Tranquil Dream to go), its inevitable that it’ll affect me and because a lot of you are so insightful about many things, the blog was in fact the hardest for me post and to hear responses from was this one HERE…I can’t believe its been almost a year that I’ve written about it. You cannot imagine how much it helped me to write it out. Its something I really haven’t told a lot of people about, not really my friends and especially not my family. Its a burden and feeling I’d like to keep to myself as I deal with the issue at my own pace. It just sounds like there will be a lot of hate and gossip coming from that once family knows about it, like I’m tainting the name of someone gone, which is not what I’m doing. Its really just the biggest regret in my life that I can’t let go of, something that bothers me and whispers in my ear that I’m not good enough. Either way, its about letting go as well. Something I’m slowly working on and its been going pretty well. Baby steps, right? We will only know when early December drops by how well I’m getting over it…
Either way, if you haven’t read it before, go and check it out. I probably will never post anything of that depth about my life again. However, that was in fact the one I was most nervous. Setting it free was letting out a breath of fresh air. Sometimes, thats just what I need to do. And sometimes, I’m just too stubborn to do it.
How about you? What was the blog post that you were most nervous to put up? Feel free to insert your posts here 😉