Have you experienced one of those days where before your day even actually starts you know that the day was going to be hell? They usually aren’t too frequent but its definitely something that is one of those hated feelings to suddenly wake up due to a weird dream or a nightmare that feels like it actually happened.
For me, dreaming good or bad dreams happen everyday so I don’t usually take much notice of them. There are those ones that you wake up in fear and then result to crying or not being able to fall back asleep. Those are the ones that signal a bad start to the day. You can just feel it in your guts, no matter what you do to try to make it a better day, nothing really does help.
So, this is what happened to me this morning at 5:30ish. I woke up in fear of losing someone that I loved dearly. It felt ever so real and the second I woke up, I couldn’t fall back to sleep because I couldn’t control my emotions (I usually can do it relatively well) and I just burst into tears. Being sad and depressed and having that sudden feeling of loneliness really took the prize at ruining my day. Everything that followed afterwards pretty much didn’t go the right way, from the bus being late and freezing in the cold weather then being late for work (on a busy stressful week). Along with things that didn’t go right throughout the day at work.
These definitely qualified for those days that just started bad and followed through with nothing good. So goes the first day in 2011 where it was a genuinely crappy day. Those days that you felt that you were just supposed to stay home.
I had gone through the dilemma of whether to post this up (as blogging does relieve stress hence making me feel more relaxed afterwards). But I had also been trying to avoid talking too much about stress and depression and these unappealing things. When I received the new topic today “Are you holding back?” And when I read the description, I decided that Iwill let this out and share.
I know everyone has one of those days as I described possibly varying in how your day starts and what causes it to make you feel, it could be having the lack of coffee in the morning or a broken alarm clock or whatever else. But in the end, I feel like although today still qualifies as a mega bad day, when I came home from work, the little things that went my way actually felt so much more satisfying. In my case, eating some really nice ribs.
As a sidenote: When I was coming home, I actually came across a song on my MP3 that I haven’t listened to in a while and it reminded me of how I felt this morning waking up to that nightmare. That song is Sky by Joshua Radin and Ingrid Michaelson.
Here are an excerpt of the lyrics:
I woke dreaming we had broke
Dreaming you left me for someone new
And you cried, drying those brown eyes
Crying you’re sorry – sorry won’t do
But this is the way I need to wake
I wake to you
And you never left me
All that I dreamt had been untrue
Open my eyes
I see sky
Oh, oh, oh, oh, you know the way to keep me on my toes
I, I, I will be fine – just say you’ll stay forever mine
‘Til we fall asleep tonight